i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
