It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
