That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
