then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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