U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
