the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
