By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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