Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
