I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
All the doctor said was why
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
