I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize