I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
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