I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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