did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Randomize
