How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
