we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
