Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
