He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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