He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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