The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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