Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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