the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
