I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
We need to get me chipped asap
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
