That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
