***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
