i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
