Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
