It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
