I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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