And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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