I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
