I feel like abortions should bother me more
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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