DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
only you would photoshop your dick
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
