if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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