hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
