spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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