sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Alive.
So much puke
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
