I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize