I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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