Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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