let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
