He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
being pregnant is like rehab
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
