Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
