Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
