I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
