i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Non-Jews are for practice
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
