i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
two words...techno handjob
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize