Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
