i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
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