I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
This is classic penis vs brain.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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