drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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