just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
