she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
