Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
