How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
