Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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