shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
