so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
